Today, I pretty much woke up irritated. Do you ever have days like that (if the answer is
“no”, please don’t answer)? I slept right through my alarm, awoke to the melodious snoring of my spouse with the sun glaring in my eyeballs. I immediately knew it wasn’t going to get my quiet time (my boys had to be up in 9 minutes) and it just got worse from there.
My most, um, “spirited” child woke up in a terrible mood, my oldest woke up with a cough and my youngest STILL had a snotty nose, despite my arsenal of essential oils AND a prescribed antibiotic! On top of all that, it was bill paying day. *sigh* We’re blessed and I should never complain about our financial situation, but “busy season” (read: lots of overtime and big bonuses) came late this year and it was making me mad.
As I logged into our bank account and paid each bill, I got increasingly agitated. I finally just stopped altogether. Little Red (aka my 4 year old son) was chasing his newly learned to walk, 15 month old sister around with a foam Minecraft sword, while Big C (my 6-year-old son) was complaining incessantly about his handwriting practice and explaining why last names are unnecessary. So, I did what any normal SAHM does… went to the bathroom.
Now, this might not make sense if you are a June Cleaver type SAHM, I however, am NOT. I just needed a minute to think. To collect myself before I set our homeschooling books ablaze and our checkbook (ok, we only pay two of our bills with checks, but I digress) too. I got it “together” ( we’re using this term very loosely here) and went back to bill paying.
As I logged into my final account to be paid, I saw there had been a $150 credit applied. WHAT?! I researched what it could be thinking it was a mistake, but NOPE. It was legit and I burst into tears. The Holy Spirit instantly softened my heart. I hadn’t realized until that moment not only how angry I had been but how angry at God I had been. As the tears flowed, the Lord brought to my mind Matthew 6:26:
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”
If God is going to take care of crows (the nastiest bird in the whole world besides vultures, if you ask me), how could I ever doubt that He is going to take care of me and my family? I need to remind myself that His version of “taking care of me” might not be what I would consider ideal (say, unlimited Etsy funds and a fast metabolism?), however, He has met every NEED that we have. Busy season or not, The Lord is still in charge and unlike my moods (and cash flow), He doesn’t change.
Running on thankfulness &
bathroom sanity breaks,